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The Santa Safety Speech

The Santa Safety Speech

U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, St. Paul District
St. Paul, Minnesota.

‘Twas the night before Christmas and at the Claus place,
Ol’ Santa was angry and turning red in the face.

“Who used my sled and brought it back broke?
Dancer and Prancer, I’m in no mood for your jokes!”

“Honey,” said Mrs. Claus with calm and a slight grin,
“The elves were out earlier joyriding again.

The sled is beat up and the reigns are a bit stuck,
So for this Christmas Eve, you’ll have to take the truck.

I’ll ask Father Time to put a hold on the clock,
To give you time to get everywhere from here to Bangkok.

Give the deer the night off, but take an elf or two,
And listen to my safety tips so you know what to do.

Driving a truck is nothing like navigating your sled,
If you’re not careful, you could wind up dead!

So listen to me, Santa, as I explain how to winter drive,
So you deliver all your toys safely and come back alive!”

Santa hesitated for a moment, but then listened to his wife,
For ignoring Mrs. Claus could have cost him his life!

“The first thing you should do is check out your ride,
Look over and under and around every side.

Clear any snow or ice from windows and lights,
Even off the hood and the roof to not impede your sight.

All fluids should be full and the right kind for the cold,
They make extreme weather washer fluid, or so I’ve been told.

Unlike your sled and deer, the truck must be driven slow,
So you don’t lose control and end up in the snow.

Don’t tailgate, don’t speed and keep your eyes on the road,
Remember, those presents give you quite a heavy load!

Your stopping time is longer so allow plenty of space,
Between you and other drivers — remember it’s not a race!

Cruise control is no good in rain, snow or ice,
And four-wheel drive is not an invincible device.

The truck has ABS, so don’t pump the brakes, dear,
To slow the truck down safely, simply stomp and steer.

If you start to skid, move your foot from the gas to the brakes,
Steer in the direction of the skid and that’s all it takes!

Don’t panic or pump or swerve side to side,
Stay calm and drive safely or this will be your last ride!

If you get stuck in the snow, turn your wheels, but don’t spin,
You’ll just dig yourself deeper and get stuck again!

Turn your wheels to move the snow out of the way,
Having emergency gear to help will also sure pay.

A shovel, cat litter, salt, gravel or sand,
These things are sure to give you a very big hand.

They’ll help you get out of the rut and back on your way,
So you can deliver the toys before Christmas Day!

Speaking of gear, there’s a few more things you should take,
A safe, warm and less stressful trip they will make!

A blanket, matches, whistle, flashlight and rope,
Change of clothes and some food will make it easier to cope.

Keep your cellphone handy, but don’t call and drive,
And definitely don’t text while steering to stay safe and alive!

Now, Santa, I know it’s a lot to learn in a dash
But it’s easy and you’ll remember it all in a flash!”

Santa stood up and smiled, his face was less red,
He listened to everything Mrs. Claus said.

He was jolly and happy and back to his ol’ self,
He was no longer mad at the mischievous elf.

He checked the truck over, under and side to side,
Loaded it with toys and prepared for his ride.

Just before Santa took off on that dark, starry night,
He exclaimed, “I’ll be careful and return safely tonight!”

  • 1 December 2014
  • Author: Army Safety
  • Number of views: 10446
  • Comments: 0